First Impressions
by Connie Glaser
Best-selling author and keynote speaker Connie
Glaser is one of the country's leading experts on gender communication and women
in leadership . Exploring communication differences
between men and women, Connie offers corporate seminars on effective communications
and overcoming barriers to leadership.
Four minutes. Studies tell us that's the amount of time we have to make
an impression on someone we've just met.
Within a mere 10 seconds, that person will begin to make judgments about
our sense of professionalism, social class, morals, and intelligence. People
focus first on what they see (dress, appearance, eye contact, movement).
Next, they focus on what they hear (rate of speech, tone and volume, articulation).
Finally, they focus on our actual words.
Furthermore, first impressions are often lasting ones. Which means that
when you play your cards right, you can enjoy the benefits of the "halo
effect." In other words, if you're viewed positively within those critical
4 minutes, the person you've just met will likely assume that everything
you do is positive.
Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. Boggle a first encounter and in
most cases, that person will mistakenly assume that you have a slew of negative
traits and characteristics. Worse, the person is not likely to take the time
or make the effort to reformulate a second impression of you.
In a breakthrough study, Albert Mehrabian, UCLA professor emeritus of psychology,
discovered that:
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7 percent of any message comes from the words we use;
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38 percent comes
from our voice;
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55 percent comes from our body language.
Mehrabian's formula had a startling impact on our understanding of first
impressions. A whopping 55 percent of our message comes from something that
has nothing to do with the words we use. Which means that when you're getting
the once-over from someone, you will be judged more, at least initially,
by the body language you use rather than the words you say.
This principle explains why often when you've just met someone, the person
will say something a few moments later like, "What did you say your
name was?" Generally, the other person is so busy sizing up and interpreting
the way you are communicating nonverbally, that she hasn't been listening
to what you've been saying.
Here are some pointers to help make your first encounters positive ones:
Always greet people you've never met before -- male or female -- with a firm
handshake. If they don't initiate the gesture, offer your hand first.
Smile when you shake hands, and then maintain a neutral expression while
you continue talking. Of course, if the person says something humorous, feel
free to laugh and even respond with an appropriate witticism of your own.
When going for a job interview, don't enter talking. It can make you appear
nervous or unsure of yourself. If you have a choice of seats, choose a chair
beside the interviewer's desk as opposed to one across from him or her. That
way there are no barriers between the two of you.
Monitor your body language to make sure you don't come across as desperate
for the job or as too eager to please. Look comfortable. Act as if you're
enjoying yourself. People will likely believe you!
