Is Conversation Dead?
by Connie Glaser
Connie Glaser is one of the country's leading experts on leadership and communications. Her best-selling books have been translated into over a dozen languages. A dynamic speaker at corporate and business events, she may be contacted at connie@connieglaser.com |
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While it may be hard to believe, there was once a time when the art of conversation was considered an essential “life skill.” Employees knew that making amiable and effective small talk at company parties could affect their career. Mealtime was when family members sat around the table to discuss the events of the day. And countless young couples romanced each other and fell in love with the help of lengthy telephone conversations.
Today’s world, of course, bears little resemblance to that of only a few short decades ago. And with the warp-speed technological advances of the 21st century, communication has been altered dramatically. The entire definition of “conversation” has changed - in today’s world, it’s often just a matter of hurriedly exchanging information or data.
Not surprisingly, this change has been introduced and embraced by young people. Several decades ago, teenagers were known for lengthy, time-consuming phone calls. It was the era of “the princess phone,” when teenage girls raced home from school to talk on the phone for hours with friends they had just seen in class for most of the day.
Now, however, teens communicate mainly by exchanging text messages, with the average teenager sending at least half a dozen texts every single hour. According to a recent Nielsen survey, the average American teenager - aged 13 to 17 - sends and receives more than a hundred text messages each day, for a total of about 3,300 each month. And for those only slightly older - aged 18 to 24 - the number drops to a still impressive monthly total of 1,600 text messages.
And just as age is an indicator of text frequency, so is gender. Male teenagers send about 2,500 messages each month, while females manage to send 4,000 during the same time - which means that they are sending over eight texts per waking hour!
Statisticians have discovered that phone calls by teenagers have dropped almost 15% in a single year. According to CTIA, the wireless industry association, as Americans of all ages text more, their cell phone calls are becoming shorter and shorter. In 2006, the average length of a cell phone call was about three minutes. However, by June 2010, the average call was only 1.67 minutes, almost half as long as earlier conversations.
The reasons for this dramatic decrease in phone usage vary, but most teens agree that texting is faster and easier than communicating via voice. Additionally, much of today’s communication centers around logistics rather than emotional content. And it’s a lot easier to send a message that reads “LOL,” “OMG” or “CU 2day @9?” than to initiate a conversation about what’s on your mind at any particular moment.
A recent survey of 2,000 students conducted at American University in Washington, D.C. discovered that when it came to communicating, the students polled shared one goal: “to pass along information in as little time, with as little small talk, as possible.” Connection through conversation? Forget it.
The bottom line is that even though almost 90% of American households have a cell phone, they are no longer being used for their primary application: talking. Today, consumers use smartphones to browse the Web, play games, listen to music, watch TV or send text messages or emails. And according to Dan Hesse, CEO of Sprint Nextel, talking accounts for less than half of the traffic on mobile networks.
For people who reluctantly exchanged hand-written notes on quality stationery and intimate phone conversations for terse emails, the future is once again demanding an upgrade. Facebook has just launched a new messaging system that, according to CEO Mark Zuckerberg, is “not email,” but a savvy combination of texting, IM and email. The new “social inbox” will divide your mail into three categories: spam, messages from people who are your friends, and other.
Many experts conclude that the art of conversation appears to be headed for the graveyard. Stuck for a birthday present this year? Try giving someone the gift of conversation. It’s an inexpensive investment, but the appreciation may be priceless. You may even find it’s a tradition worth reviving.
